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BAD NEWS!!   
05:41pm 08/12/2003
  Mum just got home and she told me that daddy isnt gonna be here for x-mas....boy was i surprised...found out that grandpa is sick so my dad is going to the Philippines to go see him...on Dec 23 and comin back Jan 16 :( i know some people mite be happy but im not...every x-mas it has always been a big family thing and ever since my aunt passed our familey isnt that close and tha really scares me..My mum said we aint even puttin up the tree b/c we aint haven a fam thing this year:( our family is seriously falling a apart and i hate it..im not use to it...we went from being a big huge happy familey to being a fam of 4...:( i dont like this at all...its almost been a year since my aunt died and we are plannin the one year anniversary on dec 26 the day she died...its gonna be so hard..yet i'll be able to c the whole fam in so long...i cant believe this ishappenin...  
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The dance!!   
02:00pm 03/11/2003
 
mood: flirty
WOW i havent updated in like soooo damn long, well i guess there hasnt been any time to do so..but this time i have a hole sotry to talk about and that is bout the dance! OMG the dance was insane...the whole week me and Ash were all excited plannin shit out like how we were gonna meet and what we were gonna wear. We all met up at Douglas Park and everyone was drinkin...wen we got there it was like 7:45 and Flo was already SMASHED! me and ash drank absolute and orange juice it was soo good then i added more vodka in it and it got tooo strong...we ran out of orange juice so we were drinkin it straight BAD idea! it burned and i thought i was gonna puke.... i felt it startin to effect me and all this shit. And i was buzzin...me and ash were goin crazy!....then i called shannon and asked her if the cops were at the door checkin bags b/c i coucldnt finish the bottle so i stuffed it in my bag! Shannon said the cops werent there yet so me and christine booked it b4 the cops came...we got there and ash came outta the Gym and tellin us to hurry up b/c everyone was all ready and shit....we went to the cafe and we got all ready...i wore my hoochi pants with the zipper and a black tube top with diamonds on it...we got in the gym and we were all dancin me ash and christine. We started to grind and some random guyz would jus start to grind with us it was gret...We were pure hoes at the dance i swear....us 3 whn we were grindin the guyz would pick us and and wrap our legs around their waist and we would dance like that...lol...and other times my legs would get to tired and i didnt wanna hold onto them so i would hold onto the floor with my legs still straight and my ass still in normal position everyone was watchin it and I LUVED the attention...lol...then Jess came and we were dacnin and i told her i was lookin for "Gaston" so we went to look for him we were gonna go out of the cafe when he walked in...Jess turned aroud and i went to sit beside rachel and thn he came up to me and we went to dance ...we danced to Beautiful-snoop and he was singin in my ear..."I just want u to know ur my favorite gurl" he was so horny u could tell b/c he was pure playin with ny thong like hardcore and he was all pushin up on me and shit it was insane....i was soo in the mood to just grab him and make out with him in the corner or jus get some piece....lol...im soo bad but we did kiss but nuthin else....then i heard the rumore bout stino and shit and she didnt do it she told me and i hope she told me the truth and didnt lie...i hope she is ok since she isnt at school today..oh yeah im in the librbay durin spare written this lol and everyone today got suspended...b/c they were drunk and shit...i hope stino didnt get suspendd but i think she is gonna...:(:( b/c angl got suspended and shit and so did flo and lidnsey .....anyways i gtg pee i'll write more later buh byes :D
 
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UPDATING!!!!   
01:47pm 07/10/2003
  I am on spare at 4th Sittin in the librbary beside ALINA *waves* and Sophia *Smile* lol beside Alina is Char *Concentrating* and somewhere in this Librbay is Joy!!! Well atfer school today i am going to sherway b/c tomorrow is civies day and i need something hot to wear for tomorrow so i can look hot and make SOMEONE jealous!!! OH YEAH!!! But i cant look skanky!! im saving that outfit for the dance!!! Soo anyways im sooo excited that im goin shoppin with STINA AND STINO!!! i wanna be JENNA OR JENNO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH i would prefer JENNA but i dont want my name after a porn star! OH B4 I FORGOT i have a boyfriend!! oh yes i do....im such a star! except i think he broke up with me last nite!! which totally sux!!! OMG OMG like we have so many problems and i hate it but when we are good he soo sweet he made me 2 surprises YES 2....one was a pic of us too togehter then was a perfect match picture!! so yeah i dunno what else to write b/c im sooo bored and i cant wait till class is over so i can goo shoppin and guess what im such a good girl. I havent done anythin bad in soo long and im soo proud of myself, i havent drank in sooo long either which is good. AND i was coloring in the caf today and now i have pink marker all over my fingers b/c the old markers leeked!! it was great!! everyone looks at my fingers now and i feel like such a dirt bag!! i wonder if we did break up! he called me 2 times during lunch but i missed both of them b/c i didnt hear my phone :(:( im sad...anyways im gonna update later...and ALINA GOES paraump PSSSS*drum nose* lol hahahahaha  
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New updates?!?!?!   
01:52pm 28/09/2003
  Ok so my hair is kinda getting better....thank god there is no more green....and it looks somewhat healtier. Yeah im gonna fail calculus! im concidering dropping it then taking it next year! but i dunno....i need to think of another class to take next sem so i can have 4 classes...ineed a easy class to boost my mark up....But i cant think of a class. And no im not gonna take accounting...NO WAY!!! i wanna get a good mark not a bad one.

So my cousins were over last nite and we were talking bout my 18th b-day MY DEBUT!!!! im soo excited. My mum wants the whole fanciness all in it. She wants all the dancing the candles the whole package. Its insane i kinda dont want it to be that big but my mum keeps on insisting so im not gonna argue.

Im soo bored right now!!! i wonder if Christine is gonna call me back to come to her house since she invited me to her lil cousins ?!?! baptizim.....*dont know if its her cousin* so yeah yesterday i wanted to go out soo bad but damn marta wasnt home. I wanted to go chill with the guys soo bad.. Aww i already miss them!!! Hmmmm i think my bro is actully gonna get my jacket...aww i luv it i want it soo bad. It looks soo hot.

Im STILL single! like its been forever since i've had a boyfriend And im not shure if i want one. Like when i chill with couples and shit i feel soo lonely b/c i want a guy to be there for me and hold and all that cute shit. But at the same time i dont want all the stress and problems some couples go through either. I dont have the strength for that right now. I jus want someone there to call my own. ALSO i cant find a guy for me! like its soo hard findin a good one these days! like u think a guy is the right one for u till he messes with ur head then ur ruined for life...lol...as much as i still wanna be with him i think i should hold off for now...unless he wants to be with me then i cant resist. BUt w.e its too early to know. I need to find my partner for my 18th b-day :S:S:S i dunno who its ognna be and thats the biggest descision ever...lol anyways my phone is ringin buh byes
 
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MY FUCKED UP PATHETIC LIFE!!!!!!!   
09:05pm 12/09/2003
  I cant stop thinking of all the shit that happened and all the shit that i screwed up! after everythin im the one sitting in the corner looking at all the happy couples when at one point that coulda been me, but i was blinded and confused. And when i lost my chance i realized what i did and it was tooo late. He found a new gurl and everytime i c them together i wish it was me wrapped in his arms and not that CUSTY bitch! What is wrong wit me? Why do i always do this to myself? I always fuck shit up and realize wah i did after i find out i cant have him back.....Im stupid for likin him still. Especially since he is with that Custy CUNT! OMG like honestly i know she has a problem with me and soon she will get what she deserves. B/c i can only handle soo much.....I wanna hit her jus once...AWWW i miss him...imiss bein with him and all our memories. I wish everythin was like how it was b4...no problems nuthin....i guess this is a sign! but FUCK THE SIGNS I WANNA BE WITH HIM!!!  
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09:17pm 22/08/2003
  Hoyl fuck lots of stories to tell........Goin to a jam tomorrow thanks guyz for havin one. Its gonn be crazy! good ass jam b4 school. i htink we all need this. Im gettin clunked tomorrow!! no work on sunday too!! OMG!!!!!  
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Things i still gotta do before school starts   
07:07pm 17/08/2003
  OMG like i JUST realized that school starts in like 2 weeks, and like i havent really chilled with anyone this summer it was weird b/c usually i would miss everyone and shit and cant wait to go back to school to see everyone but i'm not, I really dont care. I came to realize this summer is that i dont really need anyone. I dont need lies and i dont need the stress. Besides my close ass friends that i was with this summer * u know who u are* i could manage without other people. I know this sounds totally rude and like STUCK UP but im not trying to make it sound that way. I dont need people trying to pretend they are my friends then al of a sudden they disappear from my life then reappear and expect everything to be like b4. I dont work like that no more. I've changed and im more in control with myself, which i should be. And i'm glad i am. Im sick of ppl walking all over me expecting me to be this one person when i'm not that person. Ok so enough of all my problems and rants this is what still needs to be done.

**Get my hair dyed honey brown/blonde with differnt colored hightlights in them.
**Get my 3rd pack of pills.
**Get my new contacts..not sure what color
**FIND grey pants that actually FIT
**Get my kilt shortened AGAIN
**buy new shoes *school shoes*
**get new makeup
**go tanning again a few times so im nice and golden
**buy my school supplies
**make more friends at future shop so i can get discounts *more with Anthony's friends..HOT* They white lol
**Go to the ex
**LAST BUT NOT LEAST GO TO CHICAGO!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
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YAY the power came on   
03:07pm 15/08/2003
  came on at exactly 3 pm!! i stuffed the fridge with drinks and froze some freezes. Damn its hot.. I got a big burn/tan on my back. Ok gonna make this quick b/c i wanna watch some t.v since i miss the damn thing...and my cell died so its charging now...and when the lites went out i was in the dentist gettina filling so i was in no luck...anyways its too hot to type so im out.......call m cell if u need me...its charged..lol  
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My life is a cycle..   
10:43pm 10/08/2003
 
mood: confused
I have finally come to realize that my F.U.C.K.E.D up life is basically a wheel or as some may call it a cycle that is being recycled. All the shit i tried to leave behind me is all coming back to me! And im wondering WHY?? Is this a sign for me?

Apparently i was suppose to get hooked up with another guy. And then i saw both of them on friday and it was funn. I knew for sure i didnt want the one i was suppose to be hooked up with but i felt so bad just leaving him their while he was thinking something between us was going to happen. I guess thats why he called me well actually said i looked like a heartbreaker. And i told him i wasnt one but he said yeah i was well he felt like he was going to get hurt from me and not the other way around. And i doubted him because usally i was the one getting hurt. But WAS I WRONG?? YES!! he was right..i did hurt him and i am so sorry. I didnt mean to.

Just someone from the past came and i didnt no what to do. Marta was talking to him and i heard her say "SHE DONT LIKE HIM OMG TRUST ME SHE DONT LIKE HIM" and i kinda knew they were talking about me. So i took things into my own hands after that. Christine called Tom and i took the phone and was talking to Tom then freakin Jamie grabbed the phone and went out in the rain with it. I didnt wanna go in the rain so i stayed then i was yellin for the phone and he was like come here and get it. So i went which i guess was the mistake. I didnt think he would act like he did, i didnt expect wat he said. He took my hand and held it and said "Ive missed you" i was shocked. He put the phone down and jus held me. I didnt no what to do. I told him shit between us will never be the same, just becuase of stories which he knew were LIES he still believed them. And i know that wasnt the reason why shit happened. Im not dumb! BUT i am dumb for choosing to be with him instead of the other guy. U could tell the other guy was shocked by my actions. I tried to explain myself but i dont think it worked. I felt so bad he is a very nice gu and i dunno why i am giving him up for someone that has hurt me b4. I dont know why i want him back, i really dont. There is just something missing when he wasnt mine. And this other guy couldnt fill that spot. He wasnt the same, he was too seroius for me, he didnt make me laugh, instead he was alway making me think. He would always put me on the spot and i didnt like that at all. Im sorry for actully being a heartbreaker. I know how it feels to have ur heart broken and i dont know y i would want to hurt someone like that, im stupid i know it and i know i'm gonna end up getting hurt again. But i cant let this guy go. I know he wants me back b/c im the type of gurl that doenst cause problems. Im not a bitchy g/f or anything, im me and i dont need the guy to support me i can support myself. I dont depend on them. I do my own thing and i always will. But i think i need this guy. I dunno y and i cant explain it but i jus do. He will be th eonly one that can fill that spot in me, until i'm the one to call it quits for GOOD!! I hate being in this situation b/c i've never been in this situation and i hope i'm never in this situation again.

Christine, OMG like what do i do? you know the whole story, am i doing the wrong thing? Should i jsu end it with both of them? im soo confused and i know no one else will tell me the truth besides u. everyone will jus tell me what i wanna hear and thats stay with him if u like him. But u will tell me the truth and i need that right now. Ok call my cell as soon as u read this dont care what time it is, most likely i wont be sleeping b/c i'll be thinking about this like last nite.
 
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My weekend   
09:11pm 03/08/2003
 
mood: lonely
Well b4 the weekend started i thought it was going to be good since marta's rents were gonna go to their cottage and leave her behind....we had this long ass convo thursday nite till like 5am....she called me like at 11 tellin me that she her mom is making her go b/c her mom know's her too well..FUCK MARTA!! lol...then that ruined our plans for our nite which was to go to Brians b/c he was havin ppl over. At first i was hesitant b/c like i havent seen them ever since and it would jus be awkward for me. Then i got this fucked up phone call that totally messed me up. like holy shit some ppl have no fuckin lives. LIKE IF U DONT FUCKEN NO ME DONT FUCKEN CALL ME. like i dont even know these bitches names and they callin me as if they know everythin bout me..like wtf!!! so me and Marta were jus pure talking and shit.

Sat me and my mom went shopping at Hartland town center we bought a bit of stuff..lol..then i went home and my neighbors said we were suppose to ave dinner there so we went there. And Tiff was there so we were all chillin and shit. Me and Dasha were tryin to get ppl to come out and go bowling we wanted to do sumthin jus funn. but no she fucken ditched me for her boy like wtf. Anyways Tiff came over for a bit then her cousin came we drank a bit but it tasted bad so we stopped. We were gonna go for a drive but it was way to foggy to. we didnt wanna get into an accident. So i was just chillin at home nad i heard my phone vibrating. I looked at it and it was "Private number private name" i didnt answer b/c of the last time. So i jus left it and they left a voice mail but they didnt say anythin jus hung up. And when i was still listenin i had a beep and i looked at who it was and it was Glen...i was soo surprised he actually called. We had this big long convo till like 4 am. We talked about everything. And bout friday and shit. It felt awkward that he was talking about Jamie. But oh wells. I dont really wanna talk bout what he said it will take to long.

Sunday which is today. I worked. got home ate burger and fries. And for some reason i feel all sad a depressed. No one to talk to. I feel lonley. i cried today too it was awkward i was just sittin in my room and tears rolled down my face. And i thought to myself WHY AM I CRYING and i cried even harder. It was sad! Oh b4 i forget when my brother was drivin me to work we were on Dundas almost there and my bro saw 3 thug guyz and was jokin around and said hey those are ur boyz there...and as we got closer i noticed OMG that was Brian Sedrick and Jamie. i was like OMG i know them and me and my bro jus laughed. It was weird how i saw them...OMG i dont want that to happen anymore. lol...anyways i'm gonna go watch a movie...
 
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STRIPPED & JUSTIFIED CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
12:08pm 31/07/2003
 
mood: happy
YAY

YAY

MOST AMAZING 4 HOURS OF MY LIFE

Finally it was the day of the concert, i woke up early because of the excitment running through my body. I wanted to get ready early but then i realized that by the time we left for the concert my make up and hair would probably look real bad. So i just took my shower, then took my time gettin ready very slowly. I called Christine to wake her up so she could start gettin ready and maybe get a ride here from her mom b/c her mom goes to work ay 2. But she was too slow that she had to wait later for her dad.


My mom came home and brought me KFC b/c we knew the food their would be expensive and i didnt wanna waste my money on food only on clothes and shit.So i ate and remembered that me and Christine wanted to drink b4 the concert so i went to the store and bought 2 1L bottles of coke and poured like half of it out and put Jamaican Rum in it. It tasted so bad so i had to add more coke...OMG sooo strong though. Oh wells. Finally Christine called and said her dad is home and that she is coming now. She got here and she had like 2 huge bags i'm like holy fuck what did u bring with you. She left her bags in my room and i said bye to my mom and we were off. I went outside and my dad was talkin to Christine's dad givin him directions on where to go. And that i knew the way home by go-train and all this stuff. Her dad thought there was traffic so he took the long way their, but when we passed by the high way there was no more traffic so that sucked. I had no clue where we were going. And her dad got lost and didnt no where to go. So he would stop in the side and ask a taxi man. This happened twice and finally we got there.

Me and Christine got out of the car and it said on the top Gates 1,3,5 and gates 2,4,6. I had no clue what gate we were suppose to go to. Since on our tickets it never read any thing about gates. And we really had to go to the bathroom. So we went inside this place and their were no washrooms but there were line ups goin inside the air canada center. We started to drink our rum and coke but it tasted soo bad that we had to plug our noses. We went to stand outside b/c i htink people could smell it. And their were these black guys that kept staring at us and walking by us i think they were gonna try to steal our tickets..but they couldnt b/c these tickets were my babies. Wwe went back inside and threw out the drinks b/c we wanted to go in and plus our stomachs were starting to hurt. And u couldnt bring any drinks in. They did a bag check b4 u go in. Everything was fine.

We got in and we went to look for out section which was 116 we found 2 116 sctions and we didnt no which one was ours...So i found some guy that worked their and told us where to go. We foun dour seats and our seats were on the side of the stage in 100 section but in the first part of 100 not the top part...we were the last row on the bottom part...everyone kept moving and switching places so they had better seats....

We went out to walk around and look at the clothes then we heard people yelling and Black eyed pea's came out and sang. I only knew one song which was * where is the love* And it was the last song...but during black eyes peas my brother called and i told him he was late he came during where is the love. Then it was intermission and we went out to buy clothes. I wanted the booty shorts that were black and pink and had an X on them...but i also saw these pants that were white and said STRIPPED on the ass. They were soo nice but none had my size so we kept walking around to each store thing to find my size. I called my brother to get him to walk around to find out the pants and shit. But the phone kept hanging up. We were soo far from our door and i found my size i was sooo happy. Then we heard people starting to yell so me and Christine ran to our seats.

We got to our seats and it was the beginning of DIRRTY!!!! we were going crazy.....Christina came out in her leather Chaps suit. She looked soo hott. OMG I WAS SOO HAPPY.....we were all standing and dancing and jus going nuts. Then when she would come neard us me and Christine would run to the front to take pics. Then we notcied that their were to empty seats up near the front so we jus sat their. The best part was when Christina was singing i think it was *WALK AWAY* And their was this guy in this kinda boxed thing and there were 4 poles in each corner and a pole in the middle and he was like pole dancing and he was topless. And durin the song these curtin like things would open and close and he would still be dancing inside. then at the end he was unbuttoning his pants and gonna strip. Everyone was goind wild especially me and Christine. OMG IT WAS HOT. Then he was about to take it off but he ran off to the side and they were even boxers they were longjohns for the next song. Then we saw them get dressed and one of her dancers Gilbert this spanish guy came from the side and he was in his long Johns and i swear u could tell how big his package was b/c it was like hanging and shit then he looked to our section and grabbed his dick and shook it...I swear that was soo hot. He dick looked big too ;);) hahaha oh man it was great. He did that so many times.. OH MAN!!!!. Then one song all these paper things started to fly everywhere it was sooo cool. And she had loud bangs at the end. Her last song was Beautiful, and she made the crowd sing along with her. Then she was gone. It was sooo sad. OMG i loved the outfit she wore for *Cant hold us down. It was hot. It was her lil shorts and this baby purple top that was shiny kinda and she had these purple addidas' that were i think suede like they were hot. And she was on a motorcycle. And one part her dancers riped off her skirt and her and her gurl dancers were in their lil jean booty shorts and she was talking sayin the only time u will ever be able to do that is IF I LET U....it was sooo funnie the way she said it then she gave her lil laugh....She played Infatuation *my favorite song* I was going crazy i kept singing. I luv that song OMG!!!! I was sooo sad when she left...:(:( she is the best i love her! she is like my FAVORITE!

After she was done me and Christine went to see if we could buy our booty shorts b/c b4 they didnt have any sizes. So we went and they had a Medium. so we jus took it. And then i bought a program. And i was trying to call my brother to tell him that i bought a program and that he shouldnt. And it wasnt workin so i gave up and i looked up and their was my brother with Melanie and 2 of his other friends. I showed him what i bought and asked him where he was sitting b/c we were soo close and shit. OMG we were closer then he was :):) and he said i was crazy that i spent so much but when is the next time u will be able to buy these kinda products??? NEVER so i bought them. Then he gave me money for food. And when we were in line for food i saw Sophia and Anita i ran to them and started to scream i scared the shit outta them. OMG IT WAS FUNNIE... we were all screaming and yelling talking bout the guy that grabbed his balls and shit. And i asked them where they were sititn b/c Rachel told me they were really close like almost front row and i was bout to cry b/c i was jealous. But they werent they were in section 117 right bedie us front row at the top so that means we were closer so i was happy :D:D..we were jsut talking and everything. Then Anita wanted to buy a Shirt so we went to look...then heard people yelling again so we ran to our seats thank god we were right infront of our section. Justin came out and everyone was going crazy. He was soo hot his performance was really good. Alot moreeffects. He had fire and this thing lifted him up and he was over the crowd it was crazy and he had soo many firworks. ONe of the bangs almost made me drop my pizza. And the fire..u could feel the warmth it was crazy. He sang all his songs and his last song was * Like i love you* we were all dancing and going crazy. Aww. OMG the coolest part was when he was singing a slow song and was standing on top of the piano and at the end their was a bang and fire and the top par of the piano where he was standing opened and he fell through and the floor opened and he went right through it was very cool. he did alot of cool stuff in his. everyone was dancng and everything. I lost my voice from screaming and yelling, that by the end my throat was hurting so bad. After Justin was done...me and Christine were trying to find out how to get home. And i looked at my phone and i had like 5 missed calls and i had voice mail. So i checked them. And my dad called aasked if going home my go train was ok. Then i called marta and we were pure talking to her. And we got to Union Station and we didnt no where to buy our tickets so it was crazy. We kept walking around trying to find the place. And finally we did. there was a line up though. We were waitin in line and i was still talking to marta and there was this white guy infront of us and he was listening to our convo u could so tell and shit. And like 4 people behind us was this Spanish guy he was hot. He had the eye brow thing going on but he was wasnt thugged up. He ha short spiky hair and was well dressed. Damn he kinda reminded me of Jay.

We got our tickets and waited for our train since we just missed it so we had to wait an hour for the next train. I called my mom told her that we were coming now. Finally our train came and we were on our way home. We got off at our stop and we had to walk so far because we were at the back it was soo dark and no one was their. it was freaky. We like practically ran home. Then we got home and my brother was already home he was in the shower b/c he didnt go to the after party b/c they were all soo tried and everything. Me and Christine went on the comp and were on msn. We were talking to random ppl telling them bout hte guy that grabbed his balls. It was great. Then Jay came on and i was talking to him. i told him how much funn it was then i said we were drinking. And he was like y didnt u call me i woulda came pick u up and i was like well i didnt no if u were in bed b/c it was past 12 so i ddint wanna call. Then he was like still u shoulda jus called but i disagreed. Then i told him that the guy in the line at Union looked like him and that, that guy mite be his long lost bro...and i mentioned that i wanted a older sis. He goes i cant give u a sis but i can give u a daughter. That was pretty funnie. i was laughing and i tol dhim i would name her Lexington- Rose nick name Lexie a.k.a Sexie. And that she had to be hot. Then he was like well i kow with u i dont think we would only have one kid we would have alot i was like OMG. then we were just talking and shit. My bro came in the room and we were talkin to him too. Bout the concert and shit. Then me and Chistine got into our comfy clothes and watched "Now and then" and ate crackers and cheese. lol then we got ready for bed but culdnt sleep so we called ppl up. it was like 5 am.lol. so we just went to bed after that.

This was one of the best expereinces. I luv Christina and Justin and i cant believe it is over, i waited so long for this and now its done. Boy does time fly by. Im all sad now like a part of me is missing i always get this feeling when ppl leave. Or when something good happens and then just disappears. I hope Christina comes back again. I will soo c her again but i wanna try to get floor seats near the front. I will die if i do. OMG ITS OVER :(:( but it was soo much funn :):)
 
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09:31pm 28/07/2003
  GONNA SEE HER TOMORROW :D:D:D

WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!! YAYZ
 
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06:57pm 28/07/2003
 
mood: ditzy
ONLY ONE MORE DAY TILL STRIPPED AND JUSTIFIED CONCERT!! OMG IM SOO EXCITED

I tried to wake up ealry today so me and Christine can go tanning *get a nice bronze tan for the tomorrow* then i had to go to the bank to get money for tomorrow...plus $$$ or our licks! damn i'm soo excited. I just had dinner and my rents were talkin bout the concert and they mentioned that me and Christine should he careful going home b/c GUYS might talk to us...i was laughing inside my head b/c isnt that what we want?? lol hahaha oh wells....tomorrow is party day...my dad thinks the oncert ends at 12 and shit...so i'm gonna be home till late and since Christine is sleeping over i think we are gonna go home get into normal clothes then sneak out...lol...hahahaha yeah its gonna be a crazy nite....i feel like smokin up!!! "WHERE'S D CHRONIC" hahahaha oh god i keep hearin tha in my head since the guy at the party kept yelling that out...lol...made me laugh...oh wells i'm gonna go clean my room so its clean for when Christine sleeps over....lol...hahahaha...PARTY DAY TOMORROW YAY!! im soo hyper omg im goin crazy...i had a glass of coke today durin dinner so i thinks thats y...lol....
 
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I NEED A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!   
02:13am 20/07/2003
 
boyfriend



You need a boyfriend in the worst way.


You’re horny, lonely, and looking for love.

Without a man by your side, you’re adrift.

Alone on the sea without any oars.



In high school, you always had a date to the dance...

And that’s how you continue to live your life.



But this doesn’t make you co-dependent or a "yes-girl."

Au contraire.

It just means you know how to snag a man when you want one.



You date, Girl!



Do You *Need* a Boyfriend?

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12:40pm 18/07/2003
 
mood: hyper
Yesterday went to Marta's house b/c i was bored...we were gonna pierce her nose but then she didnt keep the ice on long enough so it wouldnt freeze. And i wouldnt do it b/c it would hurt her. We walked to shoppers b/c i needed to buy some stuff. I bought Cherry Blasters *i was craving them* and i bought tanning lotion. My mum called me while i was in Shoppers buh i didnt hear it i only felt it vibrate when she left a message. I listened to it and she said that she was on the phone with Christine's mom, askin if Christine was with me and stuff. And this was the first time Christine's mom ever called my house. I got soo scared holy shit. My mum and her were talking for so long * my brother told me* i was like HMmmm they were prolly talking about us *meaning me and Christine* and how we always go out and prolly lie about where we are going and jus go out with Boys and stuff which is not exactly true. Maybe in some cases but not all and not most. OMG Christine answer your phone....shit man this is scaring me...if you read this call me right away.
 
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My day at work   
07:20pm 13/07/2003
  I woke up really early today. 8:30!!! damn i got ready for work and ate a real big brieakfast/lunch! then i had to wake up my brother to drive me b/c my parents went to church. They went at 9:45!!! DAMN i didnt even no they were goin to watch a Blue Jay game...lol...free tickets from my mums work...oh wells....I got to work, had to go tha back way b/c we were still closed...Caroline opened the door and i nearly collapsed when i sat down b/c i was sooo tired.....Started to work at 11. As soon as i went on the floor to open the doors someone else was ringin the bell in the back. Caroline went to open the door i asked her who it was and she said Kyle. i'm like y is he here he dont start till 12! wah a geek lol that kid always comes in an hour early. He decded he was goin to start at 11:30 so Caroline told us to hang some shirts so me and Kyle did that it took us forever b/c they had these lil pins in them and shit.....We jus basically talked the whole shift and bugged each other. And told each other random fucked up stories. He looked good today!...lol...dont ask y i said that...i think its b/c i havent had a guy in soo long my head is jus fucked up....he took off one of his shirts and wore this white shirt that showed off all his muscle's lol....he was makin funn of me b/c some olf man was checkin me out he was like 30 buh still thats a bit too old for me. And as i was walkin past him he was like Mmmmm and turned his head and watched me walk...thats what Yvonne and Kyle told me...i was like oh man i dont feel good now...lol...Kyle mentioned that he liked my pants b/c apparently they were real tight....he even asked if he could grabb my ass...my answer "NO" we always joke around...we are eachothers flirtin buddies at work....he said we had to chill sometime and i actually dont have any problem with that..b/c he a cool kid..and he isnt the type of guy i would go for right now buh he is attractive him his own style...he aint no thug thats for shure...lol..hahahahaa anyways so yeah....he had to work in womens lol he never went to his section he stayed in mine and helped me out and shit...lol...then we got into a argument at the end when the store was closed and then i hit him with the folding bored and he ran after me i was scared...lol...he grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me into the pillow diplay it was soo much FUNN!!!...then we had to clean his section b/c it was a complete mess i tell you...he grabbed my side which tickeled me soo bad lol....he soo weird...it sounds like i like him ehhh!!! buh i dont...there are no good guyz at work and Kyle is the only reasonable one so i took him...plus the very 1st day that i met him b4 i went to the back Caroline and all of them were like Jenn there is a new guy he such a qt like they tell ME this y not Stef of anythin lol....and everyone always teases us...and shit askin me if Kyle is Flirtin with me to much and shit...lol...hahah its too funnie...anyways i'm goin for my nap buh byes  
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07:14pm 11/07/2003
 
mood: depressed
¤All I want is for you to know me again, for me to be in your life. And, even if it can't happen right now, I would just like to know that you heard my plea. I would just like to know that I am not blocked from your memory.¤

Read this quote "Have you ever really cried for someone more then you wanted to? Have you ever tried to love him in spite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him, even though he's whispering someone else's name?"
When i first read this quote is hit me, it triggered something in my body something i cant exactly explain but it made me feel jus oh so sad. I was talking to Christine and i told her that Glenn asked me if i close my eyes who do i wish was on the phone talking to me right now, and i told him i couldnt answer b/c i didnt no who i wanted to be talking to mean while i knew deep down who i wanted to be talking to.

Some say i'm real dumb for wanting him back after what he did to me...and i think i'm dumb for wanting him back to, but i cant hide/help the feelings i have for him. They arent going away they are still there. What makes me sad is that i was never his girlfriend, it seemed like it but we werent. He didnt want a girlfriend and at the time i didnt want a boyfriend, but as time went by i realized i did want him as my boyfriend, but still he jus wanted me and not me as his girlfriend. Then when everything changed he stoped calling i got sick he never even called to see how i was and i was sick b/c of him...i thought i was going to die, i was in so much pain i would not even want my worst enemy to be in that situation that i was in, i even had to miss all my exams. Then they said they didnt wanna chill with us..ok i didnt really care i dunno why but i didnt, then i found out he had a girl....i never told anyone this but i cried a bit...b/c he found a gurl at rib fest when he was drunk just liek that mean while i was right infront of him askin him to make me be his but that never happened. I guess i wasnt good enough.

You dont understand how much i still want him back...and i dunno why after he just left me out in the cold like that but i cant help it, its b/c we both never said good-bye to eachother he just left me. Im afraid to see him, b/c i dont wanna cry! i dont wanna see him with his gurl, you know how hard that will be for me that would be soo painful for me i dont think i would be able to see that. And if he wants to talk to me i dont think that would be a good idea either b/c then i'm gonna want him back even more and shit.

I hate BOYZ!!!!!! gurls we need to get some MEN!! BOYZ play us like fools...they take our hearts and leave us liek that. I dont have time to waste on boyz that wont waste their time on me.......but i still wish it was me and him together,i had alot of fun with him now i've only got memories, but i want the real thing. I want to be able to see him face to face and have that feeling that i never wanna let him go. Liek when he walked through my door for the very first time the first thing i did was give him the biggest hug and kiss.....i want him back so mmuch no guy right now can replace him. Because my feelings for him are still so strong i'm not paying attention to any other guy right now, and i know that is bad but there is nuthin i can do, i know i'll never have him back and that is what is killing me inside, if only i got to say goodbye. Its not like i'm even mad, he was the only guy i had, i gotta learn and resect his decision even though it hurts me so bad, i could even try to make him jealous and go for one of his friends but i dont wanna see his face sad b/c that would hurt me to, i think i'm to nice for these problems i dont wanna hurt the person that hurt me i would rather just sit her and suffer....what is wrong with me why am i like this, why am i depressed and lonley. i need a guy in my life!
 
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WIERD DAY!!!   
04:51pm 08/07/2003
 
mood: bored
Well i guess i should start off with yesterday and what i did.....well me and Christine watched Legally blonde 2 red white and blonde it was real good i loved it....well of course i would i was in love with the first one. Then after we were gonna call up Marta and Justine so we could go to Joey's jam but there phone was off...we called random people trying to find out what they were doin b/c me and Christine were sooo bored and we didnt have to be home till late....but no one had their phone on or no one was doing anythin so it was soo boring. We got hungry and bought Nacho's and a hot dog for me :D we ate then walked out and decided to walk to Christine's house. We walked there and watched Wild things OMG that movie had sooo many twists...and alot of fucked up sex scenes....hahahah we saw Kevin Bacon's PENIS!! lol like omg wah a fucked up teacher...who would fuck their students like i dont care how hott the teacher is i would NEVER fuck my teacher/guidance counceller....its just wrong...so after that her dad drove me home..i felt soo bad b/c we had to wake him up and it was late....awwww i'm soorryyyy :(

Today i woke up at 11:30 i watched "crazy/beautiful" which i borrowed from Christine last nite..it was soo good i cried like a lil girl...and OMG JAY HERNANDEZ is soo fuckin sexy omg she is soo lucky she got to lay her lips on him...fuck man he is damn hot reminds me of Fernando Vargas my ultimate crush.....but damn since i'm in my stage of liking only Spanish guyz this movie was good...i would soooo fuck Jay in a minute damn he sooo sexie im in luv..lol..lol..lol..Anyways then i made macaroni and watched Days of our lives....OMG BRADY GOT SHOT!!! stupid Nicole trying to kill Victor now got Brady KILLED :(:(.....so yeah then i took a shower and went on the comp b/c i was sooo bored went on msn and no one was online....then Ej msg me and it was really Cyrus like WHOA!!! like outta no where this guy talks to me...yeah i was surprised and shit...he wanted to chill and shit...i asked y adn stuff b/c like wah happened in the past..and he said b/c i was wicked and he missed Chilling with me!!!HMMMMM....so i said "if i was wicked y did we stop chillin b4" then he started sayin that i said i had a boy or some shit liek that...buh w.e it was jus real weird talking to him again...like after all these months and shit..it was a big surprise if u ask me....so then i was bored so i did my make up.....then my hair and took some pics on my web cam...if i knew how to put pic up in here i would buh i dunno how soo i'm gonna have to learn...so yeah my rents jsu came home so i hope my mum brougt me some food b/c i'm STARVING!!!!!!!!!!anyways i'm gonna go now i htink i wrote enough...and oh yeah tomorrow i'm going to Jack Astors to celebrate Alina's b-day :D:D:D gotta go shopping then to buy her some AWESOME present i dunno wah to get her though...its gonna be tough...but i can do it :D lol
 
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05:55pm 05/07/2003
 
very horny



You Are Very Horny


Your sex drive catchs you in a trap!


You want to be sensible and sexy, but it's hard to be both!


You are a horny chick riding on a derailed speeding train.


Chances are your body will win out over your mind, and you'll let your sexual spirit free.


Sure your sexuality has caused a bit of drama, but what's live without the drama?


You have come a long way, though, and it never hurts to travel a bit more!



How Horny Are You?

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Hmmm is this true?? dunno i'll let u guyz decide...CHRISTINE im HORNIER then u lol!!!


gemini lover



You'll Fall in Love With A Gemini!


Party animal Gemini is a major flirt, and you'll have no trouble spotting one.

Your Gemini loves to party and have a good time, even if it's 8AM!

Simply flirt along with a Gemini you're attracted to, and you have it made... at least for a while.



Just don't think you'll get your Gemini to stop flirting!

Even if your Gemini falls in love with you and loves you to the end of time, he / she will love to flirt!

It is just part of the Gemini nature and does not have anything to do with you.



Once you've got a Gemini in your arms, be gentle and understanding.

Their extrovert personality can wear them out and need post party down time.

Not a bad deal, right? Especially considering "down time" is in bed!



What Sign Should Your Lover Be?

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ahhhh GUESS WHO IS A GEMINI??? GLENN!!!!! lol hahahahahahaha oh god and im a gemini so i guess this goes for me too i guess i will never stop flirting even if i'm taken...which is kinda tru when i was sorta seein jamie i still flirted with guyz infront of him...i couldnt help it..its one of my flaws!!!



wet pussy



You Have a Wet Pussy!


You've got the type of pussy guys never forget.

No need for flowers or foreplay, you're already wet.

You call yourself "natural Astroglide."

You're always ready to have something inside.



What Kind of Pussy Do *You* Have?

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UMMM OK!!! hahahaha so i'm naturally lubricated!! hahahahah good work
 
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03:55pm 05/07/2003
 
innocent bitch



You Are An Innocent Bitch!


Like most chicks, you act like you're innocent.

But to get what you want, you'll be a total bitch...

And never get caught!



What Kind of Bitch Are *You*?

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candy delight



Your Stripper Name is Candy Delight!


You are always the feature dancer at the best clubs.

Your customers pay big money to see you, even if it means starving six days of the week.

For you, stripping is an art form, and you are a grande artiste.

Very classy and never trashy - you won't stoop to doing anything sleazy.

You are constantly posing in magazines and winning Miss Nude contests.

In StripperLand, you are the ultimate queen.

Other strippers may be jealous by all the attention you get, but you walk away with the most money!



What's *Your* Stripper Name?

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professional flirt



You are a PROFESSIONAL Flirt!


All you need is a bedroom to change clothes in, and out comes – Superflirt!

You’re always successful and you always get your man.

That’s because you have oodles of experience.

Yes, you flirt full-time.

If it paid in dollars, you’d be a rich woman.

But it pays in other ways and you’ve got the jewelry to prove it.

You’re proud of your professional accomplishments, including the long trail of wounded men in your wake.

Nobody does it better, Honey. And don’t you forget it.



What Kind of Flirt Are *You*?

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You are a HIP HOP QUEEN Girlie! U got it goin on. U
cool and u know it! U know how to work it! Go
girl!


What Stereotype Are you{girlz}?
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Soroity Slut
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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